Who is this woman who’s about to pee her pants at President Obama’s speech on energy and the economy to the students of Miami University.

Bahahahahaha!

Go ahead Tweet away and Share on Facebook and see if she owns up!

Scandinavia’s most famous Ice Hotel is in Swedish Lapland and Canada has the Quebec Ice Hotel. They’re made by packing ice and snow together into incredibly elaborate designs and last about 4 months (December to April) until they melt away for spring. You can expect temps from minus 6 up to a balmy zero degrees celsius (that’s 21 – 32 farenheit). Some have ice bars and restaurants with ornate ice sculptures and glassware made from ice. (No your lips don’t stick to the glass because funnily enough the air is dry.) Some have hot tubs on private decks so you can soak in warm water while all around you freezes.

You will be provided with sub-zero sleeping bags (oh joy) and your ice beds will likely be covered in reindeer skins, but you should wear thermals and pack a big polar fleece. And here’s a tip: pack your clothes in the bottom of your sleeping bag so you can get dressed Mr Bean-style into warm clothes in the morning. Personally, I’d be sleeping in tomorrow’s clothes already. It’s also wise to book a warm room in the main hotel if it doesn’t come with your package, that way you can use it to change, shower, toilet and scamper to in the night if you can’t hack it.

Ready for bed?

Here’s a couple to check out:

Sweden’s Ice Hotel has been chilling guests for 22 years in Lapland (the home of Santa). It has an ice sauna and a stunning, sparkly chapel so perfect for a white wedding. And if you’re really lucky you’ll get to see the northern lights (which are on my Bucket List).

Hotel de Glace in Quebec City, Canada opens Jan 6 until March 25 2012. This has the hot tub suite (a must for me). You’ll get a tour of the whole hotel before you check in and can see each artistic design in every room.

Click here to see the interview, including video of TVNZs Matt McLean not at all handling the fish nibbling at his toes.

Video: Weirdest spa treatments, TVNZ

Check out the big bellied Aussie in his red speedo cutting it loose on Bondi Beach…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPypWdiC06c

I was in Taiwan on a decadent Spa Press Trip. But this treatment took the cake… I’ve never had an all over body massage (and I mean all over). And certainly not an all over body massage by a Taiwanese woman with hands like a builder who has little comprehension of pain thresholds. While the door remained open so she could chat to her colleague in the next room, I can only describe my experience as if I was a piece of timber in a carpentry workshop. She first rubbed so vigorously I thought surely I would burst into flames, then she planed over and over on the one excruciating spot until every knot was worn smooth.

If there’d been a video camera looking up at my wincing face through the hole in the table, it would been hilarious. My mouth alternated from Elvis lip-curling to baring teeth like Mr Ed as I tried to absorb the pain, eyes squinting ever tighter and clenching my teeth so I could hear the ocean in my ears.

After the neck, back, bum and legs were finally finished burning and stinging she was ready to flip me over and start on my internal organs. Having already tried to communicate through gasps to my non-English speaking carpenter that the pressure was too hard and clearly not being understood, I was determined not to let her loose on areas unprotected by a rib cage.

The famous Eternal Spring Shrine, Taroko Gorge

I tried to say thank you, that I’d had enough and began to make moves to leave, but she clearly wasn’t finished and didn’t want me to be short changed. After much shouting to her colleague next door about the rebellious piece of four-by-two trying to leave the work bench, a face popped around the door and seemed to understand my breathless request for less pain. In Mandarin, she conveyed to the builder that “no hard” was required and for a while things went smoothly. I’ve never had a tummy massage before so was quite interested although it felt a little strange, but when she peeled the towel back and massaged my boobs I didn’t know where to look. I shut my eyes – just as she belched. Seriously! She had already punctuated her treatment with a few of these, but really – while bending over my chest?

Suffice to say, massage in Taiwan is a varied experience. The next day I was treated to a luxurious hot stone massage at The Wellspring Spa at Formosa Resort on the clifftop of the mighty Taroko Gorge that ended with me melting in a bathtub overlooking marble boulders the size of cars in the river.

Tell us about your worst massage experience!

Jandal (or thong) that fell from Australia

This jandal (or rather, thong) was spotted on the roof of Citron Vert cafe in Parnell Friday lunchtime just after the horizontal rain fell…

Be careful, it’s dangerous out there.

First up is the Face Trainer. This picture is what got me started on my idea for this blog – a showcase of the ridiculous.

You put this baby on and start working your face muscles out. No creams no surgery, they promise. Just 10 minutes a day and your face will get fit. “Participants received a 71% reduction in sagging.”

Ok, sticking with the head, check out this massager. I like the concept, but outside the privacy of your own home you’d look like you were recovering from brain surgery. It has heat, vibration, magnetic therapy and music going on and is a steal at just US$199.99

I do love the pet stuff. They have some quite cool things actually, I’ll give them that. But for the purposes of this mockery I chose this secret kitty litter hidden discretely in the pot plant.

No word on how you get your cat to pee in the dark, but this would look perfect in any home.

Or how about the dog bed? This is created in a fabulous walnut veneer to “blend beautifully with your decor”. It also comes in 2 sizes and has a latch so you shut Lassie in if you fancy.

And then there’s this doggy car seat and harness. The whole family can now be strapped in so you can crash the car to your heart’s content.

I wonder if this guy gets grief when he goes out. I’d be keen to try this airplane pillow. It does look comfy for upright sleeping, but the dent to my reputation would be irreparable. There is no way people aren’t going to conduct tours past this guy’s seat.

This is probably the best thing to pay real money for on my Ridiculous list: the brownie baking tray. Designed so that everyone gets a crunchy edge piece. If you like edges that is. Bummer if you don’t.

And finally, I have sometimes wistfully thought about rigging up sprinkler systems on the roof above my bedroom so I can turn rain on whenever I want to be lulled to sleep. This would be cheaper. For $129.95 I can have “sound therapy” that includes a thunder storm, white noise, ocean surf, rain, summer night, rejuvenate, marching band (not really). But I think I’d want it to shut up after 5 minutes.

If these things look like a bit of you, you can order online at SkyMall.com. But you have to promise to comment below if you do!!

This scungy prison, built in 1858, closed only in 1993 after being deemed unfit and described as ‘comfortable but draconian’ back in the 1970s. These days it’s a quirky backpackers for those who like roughing it. It sits on one of the most beautiful spots in Napier, high up on Bluff Hill with the most amazing views that prisoners never got to see, thanks to the high walls topped with barbed wire.

We took a tour, the bloke and I, and being one of the Boys in Blue he was last here when this place was a working prison. Not a lot has changed. This time armed with only an audio guide, we followed the map on our own little tour starting at the huge wooden gate at the entrance with a sliding peep hole.

It’s like a castle. All you need is the moat and you’d step back into the annals of history. Huge stone walls retain Bluff Hill and enclose the courtyard where three hangings took place here under the satisfied gaze of locals who apparently paid to watch. Here’s the list of all New Zealand hangings if you’re that macabre!

The death penalty wasn’t actually abolished in New Zealand until 1989, but the last person to be executed by hanging was one Walter James Bolton in 1957, convicted of poisoning his wife. (For curious readers like myself: he had apparently been having an affair with his wife’s sister and his wife had been ill for a long time then died. Turns out he was slowly killing her with arsenic. Mind you, his defence proved that arsenic was found in the water supply on the couple’s family farm and traces were also found in his two daughters. He was hanged at Mt Eden Prison.)

We walked past the Pound where prisoners were kept in solitary confinement, down narrow corridors where sliding steel doors open into cells covered in graffiti. The bloke recognised names of local gang members who had displayed their bravado with marker pens.

We read histories of notorious crims and peeped into the former Mess Hall (now Backpacker lounge). Some of the cells, which were occupied so I didn’t snoop into them, are now backpacker accommodation with names over the doors like Penthouse and Conjugal Unit. But not being much of a backpackery type, me, I think I’ll leave these suites to the English tourists…

Jump here for Napier Prison’s website and details about the tours.

#blog4nz

Tom Bates gets it off for the cause!

On June 27th ALL passengers AND crew will be ‘shaving for a cure’ for the Leukemia and Blood Foundation and if you want to be onboard – and land wearing a beanie – then you need to register quick smart. There are only limited seats.

Don't look Mrs Bates!

Call Air NZ on 0800 747 222 and get yourself a whole bunch of sponsors for LBF for your Sky High Shave via shaveforacure.co.nz. They want you to raise over $100, but I reckon you could surely do $1000 for your hair, no? (Your mother might pay that for you to keep it fastened to your head.)

Fine print:  The Sky High Shave Flight is a one-way flight from Auckland to Queenstown on 27th June 10. There is only one flight, so there are a limited number of free seats available. These seats will be offered on a first in first served basis. Additional costs which may be associated with the free flight are not included, including airport transfers, accommodation and meal costs. Return flights to Auckland can be purchased for the special price of $150 and can be taken on any scheduled flight between 27 June and 4 July 2010 (Queenstown Winter Festival period).

Get more info here on Facebook

Check out this video of Air NZ staff getting it all wopped off!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLoxdXppmx8

Bullock bollock Festival: well actually it’s officially the Rocky Mountain Oyster Festival held early August in Montana, USA. Their website is TestyFesty.com and if you’re over 18 you can enter.

West Virginia Road Kill Cook Off: For tasty dishes like squirrel gravy over biscuits, teriyaki marinated bear or deer sausage. Plus the crowning of Miss Roadkill after the food judging is done.

Waikiki Spam Jam: The staple diet of Hawaiians during WWII when real meat was scarce, spam was the saviour. Mmm hmmm, in April you’ll be able to try everything from Spam Burgers to Spam Musubi (kind of like sushi but with spam instead of fish) and watch the crowning on Mr and Miss Spam. They love the stuff, consuming 7,000,000 cans each year in Hawaii alone!

Orange Throwing Festival, Italy: in the tiny of town of Piedmont, Italy, things were spiced up in February during the annual Orange Fight when hundreds of people poured into the city to reenact the ancient medieval battle with 500 tons of oranges. Not so fear-factor, but certainly weird.

Wild Food Festival, Hokitika: Sadly you’ve missed this one if huhu grubs is your thing. But mark February in your diary and head over to New Zealand’s west coast and eat pikelets made with bovine colostrum and after-birth shooters!