Its five-mile white sand beach bobs with fishing boats at night and championship golf courses nestle in lush tropical surrounds. This place still reeks of old world charm and luxurious spa resorts are sprinkled down the coastline, each one more stunning than the last. If ever I’m asked to suggest honeymoon ideas in Thailand, this is my first pick.

The Marriott Resort and Spa is home to the stunning Mandara Spa. I loved the breath-taking yet understated architecture that seamlessly blends Thai and Western flavours and having this sort of climate means lush tropical planting creates private indoor/outdoor spaces for spa treatments. Imagine standing on slate under a cascading shower with lotus ponds around you before your massage. Landscaped gardens roll onto the gentle beach and you’re only a ten minute walk into Hua Hin town.

Splash about here at the Marriott

A little further down the coast, Chiva Som is a health and wellness spa marketed to the “discretion-seeking” clientele. It looks like the Garden of Eden but you don’t come here to relax and find God! This place is for entire body overhauls: to get fit, lose weight and detoxify your system. This place attracts many of the rich and famous who wander around unrecognised in a fluffy white robe. The price includes three healthy meals a day (including a calorie count for each dish), a daily massage treatment and myriad exercise and toning classes. They take healthy living seriously and there is no smoking allowed on site. Addicts are offered a free acupuncture session and failing that, hard-core smokers have to wend their way down to the beach for a sneaky ciggie.

Chiva Som is detox boot camp bliss!

But I’ve saved the best for last! Travel a little further along again and you’ll find Six Senses Hua Hin and if I were you I’d book a private pool villa here and never come out.  There are 3 dining options to choose from: Italian food in the Beach restaurant, fine dining in The Living Room resting on a lily pond or dining in your own villa with a chef or do your own barbecue. But it’s the pool villas that you’ll come here for. Picture this: your four-poster bed with curtains tied back to reveal your own private garden with a stone bathtub set among the lily ponds, a swimming pool and a day bed for sunbathing or reading a book. You can also book these for around NZ$370 a night.

Six Senses: The ultimate romantic hideaway

How to get there: 

From Bangkok you can take a train to the picturesque railway station in Hua Hin built to welcome King Rama VI’s entourage in the 1920’s. Or take a bus every 30 minutes. Some hotels will provide transfers. Click here for more info. Tripadvisor tips Bangkok to Hua Hin >>>

For more information on Hua Hin, here’s a link to the upscale market complex if you need a shopping fix. Hua Hin Market Village >>>

This post is sponsored by Singapore Airlines* who fly to Bangkok via Singapore, but as always, the opinions are mine (all mine).

* Singapore Airlines operates 12 times per week from Auckland and 5 times a week from Christchurch to Singapore – one of the world’s most vibrant and cosmopolitan cities.  Known for its vibrant culture, shopping and culinary delights; Singapore is the gateway to Bangkok with 5 flights a day.

If you’re stopping over in Singapore, check out my post on the Best Bars in Singapore and my review of Singapore Airlines A380.

www.singaporeair.com

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Club Med Phuket is in Kata Bay, with a great beach for swimming, just walking distance to local markets and short Tuk Tuk ride to Patong. There is a 9 hole pitch and putt; snorkeling boat trips and cooking lessons included plus Baby Club for 4mths – 23mths at extra cost.

At the moment the resort is undergoing a massive refurbishment (and if it’s anything like their flagship makeover of their Bali property, it’ll be wow!) It will open in 2012 with a stunning new look. The resort’s renovation is inspired by Thai lanterns and local colours, aptly named “Magic of Lights”, by designer Mark Hetich.

Drawing on the ancestral culture of serenity and indulgence the resort will boast a new specialty restaurant, a new quiet pool along with a complete refurbishment of their current bar, restaurant, spa and reception areas.

The new A La Carte restaurant will offer Thai specialties and stunning views of the ocean. The main restaurant will be revamped, offering 5 separately themed pavilions for a different dining ambiance each day, with 4 air-conditioned and one chic alfresco dining room. Guests are also in for a new cuisine experience with over 90 new dishes to be introduced.

A new adults-only quiet pool will be added as an ideal getaway for couples looking for a relaxing Thai retreat. With spectacular views of Karon Bay this “Whisper Zone” will offer peace and intimacy and will complement perfectly the revamped Club Med Spa by Payot with 12 treatment rooms, Jacuzzi and two Turkish Baths.

But the big impact is saved for the new oval concept bar. It will stand out in purple mixed with a combination of bright colours that typify local Thai design. The expanded lounge is furnished with beautiful oversized sofas and low wooden tables crafted by local artisans. While guests mingle and enjoy their drinks, they will be treated to a stunning view of the ocean. And don’t forget, Club Med is an all-inclusive resort so your bar tab is already taken care of.

So here’s the deal: 7 nights, all inclusive including return flights from New Zealand and transfers from $2879 per adult and $1695 per child 4-11 years. The sales period is until October 28, 2011 for travel to April 20, 2012. There are a few black out dates in December and January, so jump through here to Club Med NZ and find out more >>>

And remember, these prices include all your meals, snacks, drinks – including unlimited alcohol, so it’s very good value (I should be on commission. I’m not!)

I was on a whistle-stop three-day tour from Bangkok to the Golden Triangle where Thailand borders Laos and Cambodia. My itinerary indicated the drive from Chiang Mai to Chiang Rai would take about three hours and along the way we’d visit ancient ruins, 1000-year old temples and poke around villages and factories of artisans busily creating paper parasols, carving wooden elephants and gluing egg shells onto lacquer vases to stunning effect.

Chiang Rai and it’s sister town Chiang Mai are where many of the quality handmade crafts you find in Bangkok markets are made. This region is also a favourite stomping ground for backpackers keen to trek through the jungle for a bit of flora and fauna appreciation, and for the less intrepid, cheap Thai massages (about $14 for an hour) and of course, shopping.

My afternoon was going to be spent visiting the monstrous new Hall of Opium museum, which documents the history and misery the opium trade had on the region and its people during the lucrative 19th century, and the ensuing battles that came with it – like the British and Chinese invasions.

But a single sentence in between the paragraphs on my A4 printout simply said “dining at Cabbages and Condoms Restaurant, Wiang Pa Pao”.

If there’s one thing I can’t handle about Fear Factor, it’s the food they make the money- and fame-hungry contestants eat. So when condom salad appeared on the menu I nearly fled. But realising I would only get as far as the bus in the carpark waiting for the rest of our group, I decided to brave the prophylactic dish.

Cabbages and Condoms is a restaurant chain with five outlets in Thailand. This one in Chiang Rai also has budget accommodation on site by way of cottages designed more for the backpacker. It’s comfortable and simple, but by no means swanky.

The whole condom concept would be humorous if its mission wasn’t so serious. These restaurants help to raise funds for the Population and Community Development Association. PDA was founded 35 years ago and is one of Thailand’s most well established non-government funded organisations. Its primary concern is for the welfare of the country’s rural poor and when it started in 1974 it provided education on family planning and sexually transmitted diseases.

I have to admit, this worthy explanation didn’t assuage my trepidation. But a billboard at the entrance, painted with ten brightly coloured condoms, arms waving and faces smiling, proved they do see the lighter side of their mission.

I entered through the gift shop selling many quality souvenirs which also included a bunch of condom flowers. I couldn’t think who I’d give them to, so abstained from purchasing. They also sell the real thing, but I was more taken by the bouquet.

Cabbages and Condoms restaurants have a reputation for good, cheap food but that salad was freaking me out. I sat down, ordered a coke and proceeded to the buffet to load my plate with Thai style chicken, rice and other delicious-looking yet unidentifiable goodies. The salad sat ominously at the end of the table.

Bravely I walked over and joined the small party of onlookers who were peering into the bowl. Tiny, rolled up condom-looking rice crepes decorated the dish which turned out to be a regular salad underneath. Very clever.

The name is a gimmick that the locals understand. Cabbages are plentiful up here and the hopes are that condom use will be just as common. A line at the bottom of the menu read, “Our food is guaranteed not to cause pregnancy.”

Only thirty years ago it seemed everything caused pregnancy in these rural areas. Thai families averaged seven children. Today the average is two and the PDA is proud to have been a part of this shift, particularly for poor families who also remain largely uneducated about HIV and AIDS.

Many of Chiang Rai’s youngsters leave their jungle backyards and head south for a better life in the big smoke of Bangkok. Instead they end up lured into the lucrative sex industry, ignorant to its dangers.

But during these family planning programmes, it became apparent that the rural communities required far more than a reduction in fertility rates. The PDA has since established medical, training, conservation and business education programmes. One of the most recent initiatives is the Vegetable Bank which links underground irrigation to small plots so families can cultivate fast growing, high value veges that require only small amounts of water. This style of farming enables villagers to earn up to $100 per month from their 800 sq metre lots – about three times what they were earning before the system was started.

PDA’s original family planning campaign was started by a Mr Mechai Viravaidya in the 1970s. His mission was to attract as much media attention as possible in his quest to change society’s values particularly to taboo subjects like sex, contraception, vasectomies and now abortion. He has succeeded. Now best known as Thailand’s advocate of family planning and safe sex, he is fighting to bring change, not only in Thailand’s bedrooms but at government level. Twelve thousand volunteers have delivered contraceptives to over 16,000 villages and today PDA programmes cover a third of the country. Mechai is now slang in Thailand for ‘condom’ and the safe sex activist has become a senator.

So after the salad had been sampled and my horizons widened, I left the restaurant with more than just my appetite sated. And instead of a mint, everyone received a free condom.
Jump here to PDA for Cabbages and Condoms, Chiang Rai branch.

Several international teams compete in the Kings Cup Elephant Polo Tournament conjuring up images of Harry Potter’s quidditch matches. But short of securing a troupe of flying Dumbos, the mind boggles as to just how these lumbering beasts play the game.

Deciding to find out how they manoeuvre about with people perched on top, I went for an elephant ride in a park just outside the town of Hua Hin, about 200 kms south of Bangkok.

The ricketty Fred Flintstone-like steps led up to the makeshift treehouse where our big grey carriage was waiting. We sat two abreast on a perilously flimsy looking seat secured only by a long strap around the giant girth and the guide told us to stretch a seatbelt across our laps and buckle up. If things turned ugly I wasn’t sure whether our little seat would stay put. Certainly the seatbelt wouldn’t have kept us from danger, but before I had time to mull over my options, we started to lope along the dirt road.

The mahout (driver) was perched down in front of us on the big leathery neck and used his bare feet to steer, pushing the enormous ears left or right. These men are elephant trainers and have been caring for their charge since birth. At about four years old the elephant is ready to be trained for working (like horses, elephants are working animals in Thailand) and for carrying people like us.

We wandered around under the stifling humidity in long lurching strides, when suddenly a cell phone rang and our mahout pulled it out of his scruffy clothes and took the call. This may be a remote elephant park in Thailand, but cell phone coverage obviously knows few bounds and gadgets are plentiful here. Within moments the guy sitting next to me took a call from the office in Auckland wondering where on earth he was. If only they knew.

The journey took us past temples being refurbished, between trees and up tracks, and I imagined how I’d cope with a polo stick in my hand trying to hit a ball about three metres below me while the mahout did the driving. Eventually we came to a swampy brown pool and as our colossal carriage walked down the steep dirt track to the water’s edge, I looked back at the other two beasts in our party bearing down on us and hoped their enormous feet wouldn’t slip and usher us into the swamp with indecent haste.

But all was well and we blazed a slow-motion trail through the water having to lift our feet off his coarsely-haired back so they wouldn’t get wet. Soon his trunk became a snorkel as the water crept up to his eyes and I turned back to take a photo only to find that this wasn’t just a drinking hole for thirsty elephants but doubled as the toilet. Suffice it to say the others stayed on the bank until we reached the far side and our exhaust had cleared.

The remainder of the half-hour ride was punctuated by huge wet elephant sneezes which left parts of the swamp clinging to our legs eliciting grateful remarks from the uninitiated on top.

Today about 4,400 of the national icons live in Thailand, and nearly 2000 of these have been domesticated, meaning they are brought into the towns and villages and often left to roam aimlessly, getting into all sorts of trouble, while their mahout looks for work.

Hence the polo tournament. The elephant needs money – or at least the organisations do that protect it and provide for its medical care and overall welfare.

You may jest, but elephant polo is a serious business in this part of the world and is played according to international rules. In 1982, the World Elephant Polo Association was founded in Nepal which established clear guidelines for matches. Ten international teams from as far away as Germany and Britain will be competing at the tournament played over five days at the Som Dej Phra Suriyothai military ground near Hua Hin. Each team consists of three elephants playing on a pitch one-third the size of a regular polo field in two seven-minute chukkers.

Some of rules’ highlights include: no elephants are allowed to lie down in the goal mouth; they are not allowed to pick up the ball with their trunk; and are not allowed to stand on it or back over it to impede the player with the ball.

With our reconnaissance ride over, we ambled back to the treehut depot and for 20 baht (85 cents) I bought a bunch of bananas to thank my big grey friend for the educational ride. As he delicately removed each one from my hand with the tip of his trunk and popped into his mouth I realised that these guys aren’t just clumsy oafs after all.

See the website here  >>>

Of course you must see the Grand Palace, take a water taxi along the Chao Phraya river to visit Wat Arun – or the 399 other temples – and brave Kao San Road in this City of Angels, but here’s my list of 5 cool things to do in Bangkok:

1. Joe Louis Puppet Theatre at Lumpini Park. This is traditional Thai puppetry with some of the characters having more than one puppeteer working their moving arms and legs as ancient legends are told to music.

2. Shopping: Chatuchak Weekend Market. Ok, this is not so much out-of-the-way – it’s the biggest market in the whole world! But if 9000 stalls selling everything from clothes and shoes to jewellery and gadgets furniture and pets is your thing, make sure you’re in town over the weekend. Be warned, you may need to drop a breadcrumb trail to find your way out again.

Night shopping – Try Suan Lum Night Bazaar at Lumpini Park (after the puppet theatre perhaps) or Patpong Night Markets for all your knock-off designer goods and quirky Christmas gifts to squirrel away.

For airconditioned shopping you’ll love MBK Shopping Mall. 2000 shops with bargains galore – not as upmarket as Siam Centre or Siam Paragon but loads of clothing outlets, shoes, gadgets, etc at unbelievable prices.

Vertigo at Banyan Tree

3. While the night away in one of the many rooftop bars with views over the city. Especially cool are the outdoor ones. If you’re not scared of heights try the 61st floor Vertigo at Banyan Tree, or 64th floor Lebua at State Tower, or those who are vertically terrified the 8 story high Nest on the rooftop of Le Fenix hotel for a Cuban cigar, slouchy furniture and groovy vibe.

4. Floating Market. Buy snacks or lunch from the long boats that pull up to the river’s edge and whip you up a quick pad Thai, satay skewer, coconut juice, tropical fruit and watch the locals haggle over their groceries. Beware dodgy chicken though. Last time I ate that here I came home with campylobacter. Annoyingly it didn’t make me skinny.

5. Take a klong (canal) tour of the river through old Bangkok. Ramshackle houses on stilts in the water seem to defy gravity and common sense with power lines dangling alarmingly. Hire a hand painted long boat and glide past elderly folk minding their grandkids on the verandas that hang over the water while the parents are at work. It’s an amazing sight and is the way they’ve been living since 1782 (although you won’t find a 250-year old granny).

Endless fabric (pic Jayanth Vincent)

Many of the stalls sell similar things, so after you’ve had a good look around it all comes down to who will give you the best deal. That is, of course, if you can find the one you now want to return to! Haggle, barter, offer half what they ask for and work up. But make sure you do it all with a smile, don’t be rude, it’s a game – they need to make a living and you either want it or you don’t.

Take an extra suitcase because you’ll be able to stock up on all your Christmas gifts from handbags and shoes (by the thousand), loads of clothes including sloganed T-shirts and pretty sun dresses, so much jewellery you will probably find it too hard to decide, sunglasses and video games. DVDs, CDs, wooden furniture (antique, modern, Thai or Western) and plenty of homeware bling like ceramics and art. There’s even a pet section if you want to risk quarantine, but I’d suggest you just take photos of the cute and exotic animals.

It gets terribly hot as the market is under tented awnings with nary a breeze upon your face, so take your water bottle and keep your fluids up. But remember there is a fine line between remaining headache-free and hydrated and needing to find a public toilet that 20,000 people have already used! There are also food and drinks stalls.

Chatuchak Market is open Saturdays and Sundays. Take the skytrain (BTS) to Mo Chit station or the metro (MRT) to Suan Chatuchak station.

Chatuchak stuff (pic from Biyu)